Mystical Guy
by Ember Nickel
Summary: A parodyfilk of American Pie, referencing the first two games.


Not so long ago  
It's hard to remember  
That books used to make me smile.  
When we knew they were unreal  
They could still fill our hearts with zeal  
And maybe we'd claim we were in denial

But the eighty-seventh was the year  
That made us all succumb to fear  
Bad news through the fissure  
I stopped being a wisher

It felt like a stab with a knife  
When I read the note meant for his wife  
I can't remember what I learned  
The day the pages turned.

So bye bye, Mr. Mystical Guy  
It's not funny trapped in Dunny  
Don't give Dunny a try  
And bad young boys with a gleam in their eye  
Saying "This'll be the Link to D'ni.  
This'll be the link to D'ni."

Did you write the book of Myst?  
And do you have faith it will exist  
For another day or so?  
Do you believe in paper and pen?  
Can stories tell you about when  
They were just that, not of real men?

Well, I know that he still loves you so  
Much he sent me, I had to go  
We both knew of the risk  
At least my assault was brisk

I was a lonely kid who got "the look"  
When my nose was stuck in a book  
But I'd never be off the hook  
The day the pages turned.

I started singing:  
Bye bye, Mr. Mystical Guy  
It's not funny trapped in Dunny  
Don't give Dunny a try  
And bad young boys with a gleam in their eye  
Saying "This'll be the Link to D'ni.  
This'll be the link to D'ni."

Now for Ages I've been puzzling  
And cheating would be a simple thing  
But that's never how I could play  
I'll swear and suffer and I'll sweat  
Out water from Channelwood pipes, so wet  
That I'd drown if there another day

Oh, and while Atrus was looking down  
The brothers burned his work of crown  
The library was black  
There was no going back

And while I read his final note  
The pleading message that he wrote  
I stared out at the Stoneship boat  
The day the pages turned.

We were singing:  
Bye bye, Mr. Mystical Guy  
It's not funny trapped in Dunny  
Don't give Dunny a try  
And bad young boys with a gleam in their eye  
Saying "This'll be the Link to D'ni.  
This'll be the link to D'ni."

Helter-skelter, I half want to pelt her  
She, not me, should be in this shelter  
Fifty-nine volts and flying free  
The spaceship never got to land  
The book spit me out on the sand  
With my next moves a mystery.

Now the air was scalding like a dune  
While the computer spit out a tune  
I tried to drive the car  
Oh, but I didn't get too far

Cause the ends were dead, I felt the same  
Refused to call that mess a game  
Do you recall who took the blame  
The day the pages turned?

We were singing:  
Bye bye, Mr. Mystical Guy  
It's not funny trapped in Dunny  
Don't give Dunny a try  
And bad young boys with a gleam in their eye  
Saying "This'll be the Link to D'ni.  
This'll be the link to D'ni."

Oh, there it was, no chance of grace  
Touching the book lost in space  
With no time left to consider  
So let's get this over with, make it quick  
Solve the puzzle of Selenitic  
Cause Atrus is a first-class riddler

Oh, and as I watched him write his tome  
I stared at his prison, his home  
I knew if he could tell  
He'd say "it's just as well".

But Channelwood's hologram showed  
Images that quite simply blowed  
My mind-how Achenar had crowed  
The day the pages turned.

He was singing:  
Bye bye, Mr. Mystical Guy  
It's not funny trapped in Dunny  
Don't give Dunny a try  
And bad young boys with a gleam in their eye  
Saying "This'll be the Link to D'ni.  
This'll be the link to D'ni."

I saw a helicopter-Gehn  
Had let someone live in Riven  
But it took flight and went away.  
I went up to his pentagon  
Where his journal was, but he was gone.  
The book in the middle had nothing to say.

I searched for meaning in the pages  
The remnants of some long-lost ages  
But there wasn't a rhyme  
Two-forty didn't chime

And the three men I admire least  
Achenar, Sirrus, and Gehn (the beast)  
They caught the last link to the feast  
The day the pages turned.

And they were singing:  
Bye bye, Mr. Mystical Guy  
It's not funny trapped in Dunny  
Don't give Dunny a try  
And bad young boys with a gleam in their eye  
Saying "This'll be the Link to D'ni.  
This'll be the link to D'ni."

They were singing:  
Bye bye, Mr. Mystical Guy  
It's not funny trapped in Dunny  
Don't give Dunny a try  
And bad young boys with a gleam in their eye  
Saying "This'll be the Link to D'ni.  
This'll be the link to D'ni."


End file.
